steve in hollywood

This is the secret: don’t eat anything. I went on this plan called Isagenix: you do this nine day “cleanse” and lose weight while “cleansing” yourself. They said typical results are losing 7-8 pounds.

I lost one and a half. This was done by not eating anything for four of the nine days. The other five you have one meal a day and two “Tree Bark with just a hint of Cinnamon” shakes. That was lots of fun.

Other things I’m thinking:

• I have the Einstein rat in my apartment. It has avoided the bait traps, the electrical traps, and knows to go around the glue traps. I can’t get rid of it and it’s digging holes in my carpet and waking me up in the middle of the night. I guess I’ll have to poison it only to have it die horribly, rot, and smell bad in some place where it will be very hard to reach. Thanks, f–ing rat.
• I am very close to having one of my screenplays produced with me as a star of the movie.
• I find it ironic that I’m meeting with people talking about million dollar movie budgets when I’m scrambling to pay my rent and figuring out how much ramen to buy.
• Sometimes I wonder how long my car has until it breaks again. The transmission is being funny — of course it usually has been.
• It’s possible, due to events out here, that I may one day live in a castle of my own design.
• I know you’re out there somewhere, and somehow I’ll return again to you.

Picture for you

In Costa Mesa I went to a Japanese grill and they had Milk Green Tea. It was quite tasty, and had a cute character on top.

So I went to Costa Mesa yesterday to meet a client for a script I am writing. We met for six hours and he described to me every scene he had planned out from notes written in pen covering two pieces of paper. After about an hour of this, a big black man in a purple shirt wandered into the Hilton lobby by himself. He was covered in tattoos, had a nose ring, and was smoking a cigar.

The hotel staff immediately asked him to put it out. He was very grandiose in his gestures while a staffer got him a paper cup with some water in it for the stogie. Then he just started talking and being really loud. Eventually a few people walked over to him. I realized he was some basketball player I’d seen (I don’t really watch basketball.) My client told me it was Dennis Rodman. He sat about 10 feet away from us and was so loud and obnoxious we could hardly hear.

His voice and mannerisms were all completely over the top, like he was some ostentatious regent or something. Here’s some highlights:

Dennis threw a slinky away from the table which landed with a thunk on the floor and said, “Don’t need that.” (Where did he get a slinky?)

He also threw a guy’s cell phone on the floor, then later said to the guy, “You’re gay. You’re gay. You’re gay!” Then the guy said loud to his buddy, “Hey! Dennis Rodman says I’m gay!”

Later more random people were crowding over to where he was sitting, and a cute pair of women in business suits came over. He pointed to one, and then to a stool, and kept saying, “Sit down. Sit down. Sit down!” like she was some kind of animal or something. (She eventually sat down.)

He left before my meeting was over and I didn’t want to interrupt my client since he is working on producing a 20 million dollar movie (that I’m going to write) so I didn’t get a picture or an autograph. Hell, I was kind of afraid to get near the guy anyway. Oh, and if you’re wondering, I’m not getting paid that much for the script, apparently the market has experienced writers begging for work so I’m lucky I’m even getting to do this one. Well, according to the client. But hey, I gotta eat. Hollywood is rough.

Sometimes, an actor really wants a role. But he needs a medium to communicate this to the world. That’s where YouTube comes in. I have joined the legions of crazies online to promote myself to be in the Robotech live action film. Here is the insanity:

Steve is Max Sterling

 Tobey Maguire has the rights to the live action film of Robotech, one of my favorite animations ever. I’m hoping to get his or someone’s attention at Harmony Gold, the owners/creators of the American Robotech show. Here’s some data from my crazy page above:

Why should Steve play Max?

• Steve knows Max and has loved the character for over 20 years
• How great would it be for a real fan of the show to be in it?
• Steve is an experienced actor with the physical build to play Max
• He loves Robotech so much he spent years making an entire game modification for it.
• Fan support for the movie would be increased by having a fan in it
• This story would help publicity for the movie
• Steve will happily promote the film at conventions across the country

I even have an online petition where you can vote your support for me to be in it!

I’m a pretty nice guy; at least, I like to think so. (Just don’t ask those other people who were in that video contest we had here a few weeks back.) Regardless, I try not to do horrible things to people, and I try to be responsible and courteous. If I say I’m going to call someone, I call them, with a few exceptions of course, like if I end up in the hospital with broken fingers and can’t dial my cell phone. (If my nose was smaller I bet I could dial with it but it just mashes the buttons.)

In the course of my life, I run into people who are just inexplicably rude, unprofessional, or worse yet — pretend to my face that they like me. This brings me to my main point today. I have a list. This list is people who missed out on the coolness of being friends with me because they were one of these types of people. When I think of this list, here are some of the people who specifically come to mind:

• Girls who say they will call/email me and never, ever do

I tried to think of who else would be on this list but got stuck. Seriously, this is most of them. Tell me if this has happened to you:

You meet a pretty girl (or guy if you prefer), she shares common interests in you, she isn’t married, she doesn’t have the Hep, and she talks to you like she really likes you. She even gives you her phone number or email (or business card, as it happens here in L.A.) Then you call, and get voicemail — no call back. I’ve even had some girls on Myspace who read my messages to them but just don’t reply. They don’t even tell you why. Even if you ask, “Hey, so why did you friend me but don’t ever talk to me?” or “Why did you give me your card, anyway?” (Yes, I’ve asked.) Sure, they add you as one of their 34,962 friends, but answer your mail? What a chore.

A lot of these girls I just want to be friends with (who will believe that?) or keep them as business associates as an actress I can call for later projects. Regardless, I’ve been blown off by more women than I can possibly count. And they will be sorry, very sorry, when I have buckets of money to swim in and I’m on the cover of every major magazine in the news stand. I bet they will say, “Gee, maybe I could have given that Steve guy a chance?” So they will dig up my card out of their enormous pile, or they will actually search Myspace for me, and they will give me a call, or an email.

And then… I won’t answer.

You probably saw on Friday that they didn’t put my video up on time for this contest, Rockstar III, and now I am thousands of votes behind. I’m not sure how they are going to make this up to me to make it fair, but I need to catch up to be in the finals! I can’t believe they messed up like this, but now I’m a dark horse, an underdog, coming from behind…

Hey, everyone loves an underdog right?

Click here to vote for me please!

1. Click any “VOTE” button

2. Find “Steve Weese” in the bulleted list

3. Enter your email, click then…

4. CHECK your email for the validation! (It doesn’t count unless you do this.)

You can vote ONCE for each registered email! Look, I moved out here to make it big — if I get to the finals I will get some HUGE exposure. I’ve up till now been the “Actor who can rock” so this fits me great.

If you want, you can watch my Stalker video right here in higher resolution:

I’m a Stalker - Steve Weese

Yes, it’s a video where I am a Stalker. One of my favorite Carolina Rollergirls is in it, Violet Femme. So, it’s up to you all, my friends, my fans… random people who read this blog… help this poor, starving creative guy in Hollywood beat the odds!

Well folks, I waited until they published all the videos, but somehow mine did not get listed on the 98.7 video page for their Rockstar III competition. I made sure my video met all the rules, I submitted the form correctly, but my video isn’t up there.

http://www.987fm.com/pages/rockstar3/videos.html

Here is where it is supposed to be, but mine isn’t there. I guess I’m just a loser.

Well, I guess at least this saves me time trying to promote myself for a crazy contest. It would have been fun to go to the finals and play. But, them’s the breaks I guess. I was hoping for at least a fair shot. I emailed them about it (programming@star987.com) but who knows if/when they will get to it since it is now Friday evening.

Just another disappointment in Hollywood? You betcha. Of course if 98.7 realizes their mistake and puts mine up I’ll tell you… but for now, I ain’t there.

‘Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny as we just won’t eat
And we’ll
Hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair and well,
Hey hey I wanna be a rock star
Hey hey I wanna be a rock star

I have a crazy friend out here who gets a lot of acting gigs on craigslist. Sometimes she sees things that she thinks I will be good for and forwards them on. This is an example:

Needs Someone who speaks “Klingon”

I would just like to say, for the record, that I do not speak Klingon. But let’s do a web search and see what Klingons I get.First, we have the Klingon Language Institute . No, I’m not kidding.

Then we have this guy, who comes up first in an image search for “Klingon.” Must be nice to have your own slice of internet fame, eh? (No, I’m not going to tell you what crazy searches bring me up first.)

Also, I’m going to be a Rock Star

I am going to need your help! Starting tomorrow I will need votes for a contest for a Los Angeles radio station to be the next rock star! If you win you get cash and a contract! Did you know I rock? Well I do. You can see my video in my bio. I will post the details tomorrow for the voting, so please, true believers, help me win! (You can vote once per email address.)

Since I’m such a huge superstar now that I’ve done extra work for cool movies, I thought I’d share my tips on becoming a Hollywood actor. For a few moments, at least, I’m going to try to be completely serious. Honest.

• Have no pride.

You just can’t have any. You are going to get rejected at auditions and by directors and casting agents so many times, it could make you feel like a no-talent waste of time.* Really, it’s just a matter of odds. You have to go to hundreds of auditions to usually score one role.

• Have another career

There’s enough actors out here waiting tables to make ends meet. Try to get into something flexible before you come out. There are more and more online/work from home jobs coming available. Have something good before you come out here and flounder around.

• Give yourself years

It literally took me six months just to figure out how the industry works in Hollywood. Even if you have done theatre/film for years somewhere else, chances are Hollywood is completely different in how they work. Besides that, the process of making films takes months and sometimes more than a year. It takes time to make contacts, get in the unions, get an agent, and all that good stuff.

• Don’t listen to advice from other failures

Why are you reading this? Seriously though, I try to surround myself and make contacts with people who have had various measures of success and try to emulate them. Hanging out with all the other wanna-be actors who are going nowhere and doing what they are doing won’t do you any good.

• Keep moving.

No matter what happens, I always keep things going. I keep up with my contacts, keep working on new ideas, inventing my own projects, etc. Always be doing something besides sitting around waiting for a phone call for an audition you submitted for. If you meet someone big and give them your headshot/card, forget it immediately and keep focusing on the things you are doing. If they actually do call, you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise plus you didn’t waste any time sitting around wishing or daydreaming about it.  (That doesn’t mean not to follow up, if appropriate.)

My buddy Rock, pro wrestler and Hollywood success

I was thinking while I typed that a lot of the things I learned were from Rock Riddle and his seminars. He has a great organization and gives free seminars for actors.

Rock Riddle - CEO of APS - Hollywoodsuccess.com

If you’re an actor here in the Los Angeles area I can’t recommend Rock’s services any more highly.

*Which you very well might be, I can’t say for sure.

Yeah, really. No kidding.

We shot back in February, but I kept it quiet because Paramount wanted NO details to leak out while they were filming, so I waited till they were completely done to talk about it. Even now all I can really say is, I am in the film, and I am a blue shirt (science) Enterprise crew member. Who knows, you might not even be able to make me out in the film. But when it comes out, I’ll tell you what scene to look for. If, that is, you still are reading this blog. And I’m still posting it. And Hollywood hasn’t fallen into the sea due to a massive earthquake. Etc.

Look at this craptastic photoshop I did of me as a crew man. There’s no way we were allowed pictures on set, they even had us check in our phones.

If you didn’t know, this film is going to go back to Kirk’s academy days, and the original crew has been completely recast with younger actors. I’m telling you, Zachary Quinto makes an amazing Spock.

Want to know more about the film? Here’s some links:

http://www.startrekmovie.com/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0796366/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_(film)

Yes, I’m only an extra, but I had a custom uniform tailored just for me and for one day, I was official crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Dear reader,

Recently it has come to my attention that there occurred two blog entries in a row concerning the topic of butts, that is to say: posteriors. I wish to assure you that this is merely a coincidence — the author is not focused on buns any more than the average person. In fact, I would say that derrieres are of little concern in every day life, besides the times when one is sitting on the human cushion.

This blog is primarily concerned with entertainment events in Hollywood, which sometimes possibly may include Hollywood body parts, such as the hind quarters. This in no way implies that tushies, in the future, will be a focus. I dare say that this will be the end of such discussions for the moment, though it is possible in the futures that buttocks will play a starring role again; I can’t say for sure. It may become important to discuss the new leading lady Fanny and her amazing rump. Hollywood is unpredictable, even when it comes to rear ends.

Sincerely,

Steve in Hollywood

This is what you get when you don’t send me any fan mail to answer.

steveinhollywood -AT- yahoo.com