steve in hollywood

So, there I was, staring at my Today.com front page, slightly drooling, wondering what to write, when I saw a link to the Video Contest Results. I thought,

Hey, I submitted a couple things to that.

But I didn’t promote them or anything.

Hmm.

Wonder who won?

So I went there, and it turns out, I did. Well, okay, I got sixth place. But hey, I get a $10 Amazon Gift Certificate. Whereas the first place winner gets a Nintendo Wii.

This is the part where I make fun of entries 1 through 5 in my bitterness and regret

First place - Tips for Saving on Gas

Okay, saving gas is good, especially with gas costing about the same as my rent lately. And, this girl from Earth Friendly blog is kind of cute. Sure. But the video is boring and she talks like she is in high school speech class giving a presentation. Be mesmerized… because as she talks she slowly, ever so slowly, rocks backwards and forwards. Like a Cobra about to put you to sleep — before she strikes and wins the damn Nintendo Wii! Dang it!

Second Place - S-e-X-y GiRL In a T-shirt!!!

I’m not going to show you the picture to spare you the trauma. It is a man, dressed up like Raggedy Ann with pigtails, wearing a Today.com T-shirt in different poses to, I kid you not, the theme song from the “My Buddy” toy commercial. This was second place. The guy’s blog is Mental Health Humor . Is this really a surprise? The mental health part I mean, not second place.

Third Place - Why Young People Should Become Free-Market Activists

I’m all for the free market. However, I’m not for pretentious guys speaking in stilted sentences in their Mom’s living room with the lighting washing them out like they were some kind of convict testifying against a drug lord. Oh well, at least this guy didn’t get the Wii. Hmm, maybe that girl won just because she was the cutest?

Fourth Place - “Poor Gumby”

This is another entry by the Mental Health Humor guy. He basically takes some clay, and with a little creative copyright infringement blows up, smashes, and mutilates Gumby and Pokey. Sorry Bob, you wasted all this time on stop-motion clay animation when you should have had a cute girl talking about… well, anything, probably.

Fifth Place - Parents - Eat Fresh!

I didn’t really watch this one before because the title scared the hell out of me. Oh well, here goes. Okay. It’s a cute little kid feeding some chickens. And… that’s… about it. Cuteness wins again?

And then there was my awesome Driving short film, which, I should have actually taken the time to promote or at least mention in my blog, but since I live in Hollywood and I am now ruined and eternally pessimistic it never occurred to me I’d have a chance to win anything. Why am I even here? I should go back to Kansas with Toto.

I screwed up

I actually had some fan mail I didn’t realize was in there. Send me more anyway: steveinhollywoodblog -AT- yahoo.com

Picture of the Day

This is the view from the other side of my apartment, during the sunset.