steve in hollywood

This week, I decided to take a page (the front one, actually) from supermarket Tabloids: use ridiculously impossible headlines to boost readership. So, I officially welcome you to:

Bizarre Tabloid Headline Week 

As far as I know, Tom Cruise is still a Scientologist and Katie is alive and well, but I did hear a rumor from a guy who once walked in front of a Scientology office that he heard a guy named “Tom” might think about quitting if his wife died.

But this is Fan Mail Monday? 

Yes, it still is. You would not believe this but my fan mail total has doubled since last week. That’s right, I received two fan mails. I can hardly contain my excitement! Will I receive exponential growth in email? (Should I count the cease and desist emails I will start getting from Scientology lawyers?)  If you want to ask me questions about Hollywood and my life out here, this is the email:

steveinhollywoodblog -AT- yahoo.com

Here’s the fan mail.

La Steve,

What is the satisfaction/misery ratio out there amongst those that still haven’t “made-it”?  Meaning, how many people keep their chins up, determined to grind until they achieve their dreams, and how many are wallowing in discouragement and misery, wondering if they will ever get what they came for?  I’m specifically referring to those looking to break into the “biz”. (We all know what “biz” I’m referring to, right?  Good.)  Are most of the dreamers fairly talented?  Or are they mostly delusional? — Zach in NC

Ooh, “La Steve.” It sounds French. Zach, this is a great question. This is an amazing question.  I’ll get right on it.

I meet dozens of wannabe actors doing extra work. Remember how I mentioned earlier that the requirement for this type of work is the intelligence of a moist potato. Well, some of these people barely meet that requirement. That’s right, I would even say a majority of “actors” out here have neither brains nor talent* and I often wonder, when they were packing up all their belongings and saying goodbye to the family dog, someone who loved them didn’t actually say, “Don’t do it. Really. Just…don’t.”

I thought about how to answer this question without sounding like a complete jackass and then decided there was no way to do so and to just tell you my honest opinion about it. The problem with these potato heads is that they are literally too dumb to realize they are failing miserably at “making it” in the biz. So, yes, delusional is a good word. The scary thing is that these people have a degree in theatre and basically no other job skills whatsoever so they are betting it all they will make it.

There are a few talented people out here, and a large majority of them are extremely arrogant, even though the ones I meet have not had one speaking part in Hollywood. They are nightmares to work with from day one. I think that the people who finally do give up decide to go back home, or they just take another type of job out here for a while. A lot of them end up taking behind the camera jobs because there is such a huge demand for crew out here and some crew positions are pretty easy to do.

So, actors out here in LA reading this: let me know if this has been your experience as well. If you do agree with me, at least it will make me look like less of a jackass.

Picture of the Day

What else is there to say? It’s the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles. Looks like we just missed the last performance.

*I’m not saying I’m the brainiest or most talented in the world either, but last time I played checkers with Mr. Moist Potato, I won hands down.