steve in hollywood

And sell your soul while you are at it. But first it will convince you that if you indeed give up your soul, you’ll get all these great benefits in the future, plus it will owe you a favor. Not only that, but you’ll get a listing in the credits!

Remember those other two million fish (actors) I said were out here with me trying to “break in” to the business? Well, some of them sure are dumb. So Hollywood will take advantage of this. I admit that at first, I was dumb as well, but I am learning. For instance, I took an extra job that kept us from 6 p.m. until 6 a.m. one night, and maybe they used us for twenty whole minutes. The rest of the time we just sat around the set bored. (You should see my newly developed wasting time skills, I am a pro now thanks to Hollywood!) Then, when it was time to go home, they paid us our ten bucks. I kid you not: ten bucks. I almost think $10 was more insulting than doing it for free. But, I told myself, at least I got to see Alanis Morissette in the flesh. (She was a lead in the movie, and she is darn cute. I stood within two feet of her for a few minutes!) No, I didn’t talk to her. Extras, by common Hollywood martial law , are forbidden to speak to the talent. If they talk to you first, it is okay. Them’s just the rules.

If you look at Craigslist for the Los Angeles area, you will find tons of listings for acting jobs that pay you exactly ten dollars less than $10. Let’s go right now and find some examples, shall we! Internet field trip!

Seeking Hostesses for Dream Job!!!!!!!!!!! (Los Angeles)

Model Type females with cover girl faces needed to host on Private Yachts, Jet Charters, and in Brochure Advertising. Age Range 21-35. Must be willing and able to Travel World-Wide. Please Email Resume,photos, and contact information.

* Location: Los Angeles
* Compensation: $100/Hr

Whoa, who said prostitution was illegal? Oh wait, what was I looking for? Oh right, ACTING work.*

Casting - Gay Male Actor - Early 20’s (Atwater/Los Feliz)

We are looking for a fun and openly gay male actor to appear in a video presentation for a new cooking show.

COMEDY is a PLUS!!!!

You will not need any cooking experience. You will be playing the part of a “Young Hollywood Celebrity” - this is an acting job not a reality show.

This is being produced by an Emmy Nominated company with shows on HGTV and DIY.

Shoots this Sunday - June 1st. From 4-6 pm. No Pay - Copy of presentation.

Wow, an “Emmy Nominated company” can’t afford to pay you anything for working with them. How nice. Not to mention how freaking weird this show seems already. Man. I guess the combination of Los Angeles + Craigslist is a whole crockload** of weirdness.

Picture of the Day

In keeping with the weirdness of the day, I give to you: Anonymous protesters outside the Hollywood Scientology building.*** I took my own picture with my camera phone, but it sucks so I got this one instead. If you want to know more about Anonymous, check out this article.

*Please, do not contact me about this modeling job

** Yes, I’m inventing the new word, “crockload.”

*** I neither support nor denigrate Anonymous or Scientology, they are just both perfect examples of Hollyweird.

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