steve in hollywood

Well folks, I waited until they published all the videos, but somehow mine did not get listed on the 98.7 video page for their Rockstar III competition. I made sure my video met all the rules, I submitted the form correctly, but my video isn’t up there.

http://www.987fm.com/pages/rockstar3/videos.html

Here is where it is supposed to be, but mine isn’t there. I guess I’m just a loser.

Well, I guess at least this saves me time trying to promote myself for a crazy contest. It would have been fun to go to the finals and play. But, them’s the breaks I guess. I was hoping for at least a fair shot. I emailed them about it (programming@star987.com) but who knows if/when they will get to it since it is now Friday evening.

Just another disappointment in Hollywood? You betcha. Of course if 98.7 realizes their mistake and puts mine up I’ll tell you… but for now, I ain’t there.

‘Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny as we just won’t eat
And we’ll
Hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair and well,
Hey hey I wanna be a rock star
Hey hey I wanna be a rock star

I have a crazy friend out here who gets a lot of acting gigs on craigslist. Sometimes she sees things that she thinks I will be good for and forwards them on. This is an example:

Needs Someone who speaks “Klingon”

I would just like to say, for the record, that I do not speak Klingon. But let’s do a web search and see what Klingons I get.First, we have the Klingon Language Institute . No, I’m not kidding.

Then we have this guy, who comes up first in an image search for “Klingon.” Must be nice to have your own slice of internet fame, eh? (No, I’m not going to tell you what crazy searches bring me up first.)

Also, I’m going to be a Rock Star

I am going to need your help! Starting tomorrow I will need votes for a contest for a Los Angeles radio station to be the next rock star! If you win you get cash and a contract! Did you know I rock? Well I do. You can see my video in my bio. I will post the details tomorrow for the voting, so please, true believers, help me win! (You can vote once per email address.)

Since I’m such a huge superstar now that I’ve done extra work for cool movies, I thought I’d share my tips on becoming a Hollywood actor. For a few moments, at least, I’m going to try to be completely serious. Honest.

• Have no pride.

You just can’t have any. You are going to get rejected at auditions and by directors and casting agents so many times, it could make you feel like a no-talent waste of time.* Really, it’s just a matter of odds. You have to go to hundreds of auditions to usually score one role.

• Have another career

There’s enough actors out here waiting tables to make ends meet. Try to get into something flexible before you come out. There are more and more online/work from home jobs coming available. Have something good before you come out here and flounder around.

• Give yourself years

It literally took me six months just to figure out how the industry works in Hollywood. Even if you have done theatre/film for years somewhere else, chances are Hollywood is completely different in how they work. Besides that, the process of making films takes months and sometimes more than a year. It takes time to make contacts, get in the unions, get an agent, and all that good stuff.

• Don’t listen to advice from other failures

Why are you reading this? Seriously though, I try to surround myself and make contacts with people who have had various measures of success and try to emulate them. Hanging out with all the other wanna-be actors who are going nowhere and doing what they are doing won’t do you any good.

• Keep moving.

No matter what happens, I always keep things going. I keep up with my contacts, keep working on new ideas, inventing my own projects, etc. Always be doing something besides sitting around waiting for a phone call for an audition you submitted for. If you meet someone big and give them your headshot/card, forget it immediately and keep focusing on the things you are doing. If they actually do call, you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise plus you didn’t waste any time sitting around wishing or daydreaming about it.  (That doesn’t mean not to follow up, if appropriate.)

My buddy Rock, pro wrestler and Hollywood success

I was thinking while I typed that a lot of the things I learned were from Rock Riddle and his seminars. He has a great organization and gives free seminars for actors.

Rock Riddle - CEO of APS - Hollywoodsuccess.com

If you’re an actor here in the Los Angeles area I can’t recommend Rock’s services any more highly.

*Which you very well might be, I can’t say for sure.

Yeah, really. No kidding.

We shot back in February, but I kept it quiet because Paramount wanted NO details to leak out while they were filming, so I waited till they were completely done to talk about it. Even now all I can really say is, I am in the film, and I am a blue shirt (science) Enterprise crew member. Who knows, you might not even be able to make me out in the film. But when it comes out, I’ll tell you what scene to look for. If, that is, you still are reading this blog. And I’m still posting it. And Hollywood hasn’t fallen into the sea due to a massive earthquake. Etc.

Look at this craptastic photoshop I did of me as a crew man. There’s no way we were allowed pictures on set, they even had us check in our phones.

If you didn’t know, this film is going to go back to Kirk’s academy days, and the original crew has been completely recast with younger actors. I’m telling you, Zachary Quinto makes an amazing Spock.

Want to know more about the film? Here’s some links:

http://www.startrekmovie.com/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0796366/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_(film)

Yes, I’m only an extra, but I had a custom uniform tailored just for me and for one day, I was official crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Dear reader,

Recently it has come to my attention that there occurred two blog entries in a row concerning the topic of butts, that is to say: posteriors. I wish to assure you that this is merely a coincidence — the author is not focused on buns any more than the average person. In fact, I would say that derrieres are of little concern in every day life, besides the times when one is sitting on the human cushion.

This blog is primarily concerned with entertainment events in Hollywood, which sometimes possibly may include Hollywood body parts, such as the hind quarters. This in no way implies that tushies, in the future, will be a focus. I dare say that this will be the end of such discussions for the moment, though it is possible in the futures that buttocks will play a starring role again; I can’t say for sure. It may become important to discuss the new leading lady Fanny and her amazing rump. Hollywood is unpredictable, even when it comes to rear ends.

Sincerely,

Steve in Hollywood

This is what you get when you don’t send me any fan mail to answer.

steveinhollywood -AT- yahoo.com

So I have been here just over a year and I find myself realizing that almost every single actor I know out here has to have a second job. That means that none of the ones I know actually make a living at it. So, this should be a warning to you if you come out here to act: better have some other job skills. Or you could compete for those waiter jobs everyone tries to get.

Of course I have my computer skills to fall back on, but the thing is if I work full time out here then I can’t do any acting. If I can’t do any acting, why the hell did I move out here? So, I have to try to find part time computer stuff. But also other jobs. What else have I done out here for money?

• Designed a banner for a small township
• Created web sites
• Wrote a screenplay for a Chinese movie
• Created this blog

The blog is great because it bought me a new pair of Nikes for the gym. Go blog! Tell everyone you know to read this blog because in two more months I could get… another pair of shoes.

Picture of the Day

There will be more Videos of the Week once I actually get my own camera. Then there will be so many you will be sick of them.

So, I’m in the car listening to the radio, and Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls” song is on and while it is playing I pass this store. I kid you not. No, I have no idea what they sell at this store.

If you want to know more about Booty, I found this other blog. 

I need fan mail!

I am out again. Send me your questions and concerns about my hygiene to:

steveinhollywoodblog -AT- yahoo.com

Also I’m going to make a BIG announcement next week so stay tuned, sports fans and true believers!

You know, when I was in high school I remember the other boys talking about girls’ butts. Man they were so into them. I never really understood it. It’s just… what you sit on, right? Now, give me some nice legs and breasts, maybe some barbecue sauce… oh wait, that’s dinner.

Anyway, according to my vast research of looking at the first three matches to my search, I found the votes for best butt are:

• Jessica Alba
• Jessica Biel
• Some other people not named Jessica

Then I saw this article about Kim Kardashian. Now that’s a butt you can grab hold of. Anyway, you might wonder what sparked my sudden interest in derrieres. Did you know that lately, posteriors are increasingly being used as signage? Yes, indeed. I would post pictures of these shorts with labels across the back, but I’m afraid what would happen if I did a Google search for “butt shorts” or anything similar. I’ve already spent a few hours twitching on the floor after just one misguided Google image search.

The best butt I’ve seen all day

You never know what you are going to see walking around in California. At our local Starbuck’s, I met Alyssa Carter, who as you can see is an “ACTOR.” Yes, I walked up to her and asked if I could get a picture of her butt for my blog.

Alyssa Carter: Hollywood’s Next Big Star

This is Alyssa, my victim at Starbuck’s. She was here in Glendale rehearsing for a play that she has the starring role in! (She also gave me her card and had no idea my roommate has a scanner.) Alyssa is playing Princess Winnifred in One Upon a Mattress, which is a musical comedy based on the story, “The Princess and the Pea.”

If you are local, the show runs September 5th through the 21st, and is playing at Hoover High School here in Glendale. It is supported in part by the LA County Arts Commission. So, I’m going to go see it! If you want to get your tickets, here is the link:

 Stepping Stone Players - Once Upon a Mattress

I would tell you more about Alyssa, but I am still working on becoming her stalker/agent so I will have to let you know more when I search through her trash– I mean get to know her better.

But you can find lots of scammers. Remember my attempt at finding love and an agent? Well, I am ready to say it is a failure. I got three emails: two were accounts phishing for my email address, and one was, well, this:

hello my name is christina [censored] sorry 4 givein my last name i am 20 i am from lancaster,ca i am mix with cambodian,puerto rican, black i love playing tennis ,golf and i love to dance. sometimes i can be real naughty girl i can be real nice sweet girl i love to cook i am looking 4 a long-term relationship . i love watch the sunset go down and i love looking at the moon i love going to the movies with my friends i love activites. oneday i would like to married to someone.i’am 5′6 weight is 160 brown eyes and brown hair brown skin . i am not tell u a lie ok. i am not a fake this is really me. if u want to be friend frist that will be cool i love music i love to read books i love shopping with my friend i am a nice person……

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox if u want u can call me ok at 1 [censored] or u can look at my pic at myspace at [censored]

Well, that certainly was what I was looking for. It’s as if she didn’t read my ad at all. It’s also as if some evil villain stole her SHIFT key. Yes dear, but are you an agent that will make me tons of money?

Yeah, I wanna be a Rock Star

A local radio station, 98.7 FM is having a contest for the next rock star. So of course I entered with my Stalker video. You can vote starting September 5th, and you can bet I’ll be posting the details everywhere. Ahh, if only I had 54,902 friends on Myspace I could get them all to vote!

Picture of the Day

In steaming hot downtown Glendale, you can find the action here at the Giggles club. Well, at least I assume so since I’d probably never set foot in a place called “Giggles” unless I was being paid.

It is amazing what people think actors will do to get a break — but it is more amazing to see what they actually will do. One of them is take abuse from a nasty director/manager. I was in a situation like this once — a film/performance group had a manager who was an oppressive, ego-maniacal jerk — but they all bowed their little heads and stood with their tails between their legs when he insulted them or felt the need to otherwise assert his supreme authority. Over a small performance group of about twenty people. Seriously. Oh, and I quit after a week. It took the utmost amount of self-discipline to not tell this guy what I really thought of him in front of everyone.

Fan Mail Monday

Is it Monday already? Must be time for fan mail questions!

Hey Steve

I’ve heard that extra work for Hollywood can actually be common enough where if you’re willing to you can in fact make a living off of it, and was wondering if you had encountered many of these career long “extras” or “background” during your time in Hollywood.

Side note, what are the cars really like out there? As a lover of all cars, both import and domestic, you hear a mixed bag about vehicles in California as there is a huge car community but also there is the fact you live in California, which has the most stringent laws concerning the automobile. Any thoughts, views, experiences, or observations? Thanks! — John

Well John, yes, you can make a living off of extra work. Again, as long as you have no spine and are willing to be paid little and subjected to conditions that often people would get hazard pay for. “Hey guys, in this scene you will all be reactor shielding for the  nuclear facility!”  I’ve met a few. Most of them have retired from some career and are having fun doing extra work.

California Cars

This is a state with, I kid you not, no vehicle inspection requirements. So, they will allow a car that is a hazard to everyone and about to fall apart on the freeway as long as it passes the freaking hippie emissions requirements. There are plenty of garages out here that will finagle your results on your death car. So, sometimes you see the most amazing pieces of crap on the road ever. However, there are tons of sportscars and I regularly see Lotuses, at least one a week. I see cars that cost more than I have made in my entire lifetime on a frequent basis. You know, once a week at the Bob’s Big Boy here in Burbank they have a “cruise in” with amazing and cool cars. Remember, it is where I met Jay Leno?

Picture of the Day

It just so happens that I saw a cool car yesterday. This was at a parade in Little Tokyo for “Nisei Week.”

Yes, I am completely losing my mind out here. I really posted this ad on craigslist.

Yes! I really mean it. I was in the shower a couple days ago and I thought, I need a teammate, a partner in this great quest to break into the acting business. And, I also would like… a girlfriend.*

Wait! I’ve got it! We could be the best team since Sonny and Cher! Except only one of us would perform! And neither of us has to be particularly bony!

So, you’re thinking: where do I sign up! Actually you’re thinking: sure, but how do I know you’re not an ugly creep?

Here’s my acting web site: www.steveracer.com

BUT, my hair is much longer now, so I’ll add a newer pic.

So, if you want to help me become a big movie star and also become rich in the process, plus you like being kissed and snuggled, I’m your leading man.

*Really. Just send me a pic and tell me about our plan to take over the world.

So there is the ad, in all it’s glory. Of course I will tell you about the awesome replies I get to this email. You never know, I could end up with a hot Agent girlfriend!*

Video of the Week

Here it is, in all it’s glory — the trailer for a movie I was actually in! I am a featured extra in this film, Role Models.

One of the kids they help is a LARPer. A large portion of the movie ends up at a camp with a bunch of us in medieval costumes fighting with foam weapons. I am the only gypsy/piratey looking guy, and they focus on me and my fighting a few times. Coming out in November!

*or possibly a horny Agent boyfriend.